Relationships 101: Twlight shows us what not to do

Stalker. Co-dependency. Depression. Obsession. Addiction. Sound romantic? Apparently so. According to the Twilight phenomena, these topics are the key to a successful love story.

So the third installment of the Twilight series, Eclipse, is coming out next week. Apparently people have already been camping out for the premier for a couple of days.

I’ll admit that I’ve read all four books, and I was totally hooked. For some strange reason, I found the love story completely addictive. I guess it’s because everyone wants to be desired, right? Stephanie Myers manages to create the ultimate romantic pursuit while communicating human desire at a whole new level.

However, when I took a step back and actually considered the implications developed in the book, I was left feeling frustrated and disgusted.

My biggest concern about Stephanie Myers’ saga is the fact that her target audience is young, impressionable girls. Sure, adults may be able to enjoy reading the book while still realizing that Bella and Edward’s relationship is incredibly unhealthy (we hope), but what about young girls who are developing what they want in a relationship?

As far as I’m considered, when you’re younger and read a book it can easily become a part of your identity. Maybe it depends on the type of person that you are, but I know different book series that I read when I was in my early teens definitely helped shape the person that I’ve become.

Even if there were no vampires involved, Twilight develops a very dangerous relationship and romanticizes obsession at a whole new level.

In case you’re unfamiliar with the series, I’ll bring you up to date with just a handful of the negative aspects of Bella and Edward’s relationship.

First of all, Edward sneaks into Bella’s room at night to watch her sleep, and when she finds out that he does this, she is flattered rather than being creeped out. Meanwhile, girls all over the globe are thinking “aw, he likes watching her sleep,” while forgetting to think about the fact that he broke into her house and totally breached her privacy while she was in a very vulnerable state.

Also, Bella ditches all of her friends to spend more time with Edward, because that’s what you should do when you’re in love, right? Correct me if I’m wrong, but this does not seem to be a good thing to teach young girls.

I’m not even slightly close to being an expert on relationships, but as an objective, third party person, this relationship seems a little unhealthy. Now maybe it’s just me, but I’m pretty sure if a guy I had only known for a short period of time came up to me and said “Grace, you are my life now,” I would be hitting the panic button. I would also probably be thinking, “whoa dude, get your own life.”

That kind of codependency is a little too much pressure for me to handle.

Twilight is useful because it shows us exactly what not to do. Watch the series and you’ll be able to create a helpful list of “do not’s” in a relationship.

I think Bella and Edward really just need a teaching from Chip Judd on boundaries. Judd talks about how you cannot rely on other people to make you happy. He says that others are not responsible for your emotions. In my experience if you embrace those words life is a heck of a lot easier. I’m a much happier person now that I’ve realized that other people aren’t responsible for making me happy. I don’t mean that your relationships don’t contribute to your emotions and state of being — I mean that it is not my parents or friends or coworkers job to make me happy. It’s a very freeing realization!

Anyways, back to Twilight. After all of that, can you believe that I’ll probably still see Eclipse? Perhaps that makes me a hypocrite. However, I like analyzing the pros and cons of movies no matter what, whether I agree with them or not.

All in all, at the end of the day, the thought of me being the single reason for someone else to live seems less than ideal, and without a tinge of romanticism.

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Spot the differences: Ontario versus British Columbia

So I’ve been in British Columbia for over a month now, which is just enough time to notice some differences between Ontario and BC. The following is a compilation of eight differences. wooooooo

1. Tim Hortons

In BC, you’re able to use your debit card to pay at Tim’s (whereas in Ontario there is not one Tim’s that lets you do that). Also, there is a wide variety of lattes and espresso to choose from. Starbucks is more popular here than in Ontario, so that may be why there’s an espresso option. Ontario needs to catch up cause our Tim’s is slacking!

2. Minimum wage/Maternity leave

Although our Tim Horton’s may be far behind the ones in BC, Ontario gets a couple of points for minimum wage and maternity leave. The minimum wage in Ontario is higher (even though I would wager a guess that the cost of living is higher in BC), and mat leave in Ontario is also way better than in BC. Don’t know why, just something I’ve noticed.

3. Ciders/1516

Okay, so at all of the restaurants I’ve worked at in Ontario, none of them sold ciders. I think I have one friend that drinks Strongbow, but besides that I’d never really heard of a cider. They’re so popular in BC — people drink them like it’s their job. Also, the most popular beer at one of my jobs is 1516…What’s 1516? Yeah that’s what I was wondering too. It’s a local, Okanagan Springs beer. We definitely don’t have that in Ontario.

4. Smoking/Drugs

Apparently there are a lot of drugs in BC, and I never really heard much about hard drugs in Ontario. People talk about them all the time and drug issues are constantly being brought up on the news. It’s interesting though cause one girl I work with comes from Manitoba, and she said that she thought that drug use was very minimal here compared to her hometown. I guess every province is different.

Smoking is also way more popular in BC than in Ontario — it’s still very common for people to smoke here. I think it might be because smoking was banned in restaurants earlier in Ontario than it was here.

5. Pronunciation

Okay, this is nit picky, but everyone here calls Cabernet Sauvignon wine “cab sav” instead of “cab sauv,” — refusing to acknowledge the “U”. Must be because there is zero French influence here.

6. Hitch hiking

I never ever see hitch hikers in Ontario, and the first day I got here we saw several. It was so uncommon to me, I thought they were being

Don’t try this on the side of the road. Only use thumbs up with caution.

friendly so I threw them a thumbs up back. Turns out they weren’t being friendly… (Unfortunately I’m not that ignorant and that never happened). Anyways, I see hitch hikers every day on my way to work. People say the reason why it’s more common is because it’s so much warmer here.

7. Laid back

In general, people here are super laid back. Have to wait in line for half an hour at Tim’s because everyone is paying with debit or feel like having a friendly chat with a hitch hiker? Meh, no big deal dude.

I work with a guy who is from London and used to work at a golf club there, and one of the first things he said to me was that it’s way more laid back here (which I’ve found to be incredibly true). The warm weather and beach type atmosphere must have something to do with it. I went to a job fair and a lot of the girls were wearing jean shorts and tank tops, whereas at job fairs in Ottawa people wear nice pants and blazers. In general, it’s a lot more “chill” than “formal” here.

8. Landscape

So I think the reason why people are okay with #2 (minimum wages/mat leave) is because it is so amazingly gorgeous here. The scenery is unbelievable. Every time we drive in to town I’m blown away by how beautiful the mountains are. Also, it’s been raining quite a bit too so everything is really green right now. I love when it rains because patches of clouds hang in the hills and you almost feel like you can reach out and touch them. It’s also neat that you can look at the mountains and see patches of sunlight and cloudy areas, and mean while it could be raining wherever you are…It’s different than Ontario because when it’s flat all you can see is wherever you are, whereas when there’s elevated land you notice all the differences in your surrounding areas. So cool.
Anyways, those are the main differences I’ve noticed so far. Both provinces are sweet and have their pros and cons. One excellent similarity is that the people are great in both places.